Christmas is my least favorite holiday.  There.  I said it.  As a child, I loved Christmas.  As an adult, my relationship with Christmas is more temperamental.  This post is one I wanted to write for a while but was afraid to write.  I thought, “Do you really want to fly that freak flag?”  I turned 50 this year, and there is something liberating in that.  You realize if you don’t start doing the things you are afraid of doing, you will die before they get done.  Listen up all of you members of the Mistletoe Mafia, not all of us feel that this is the most wonderful time of the year.     

Disclaimer:  My parents read my blog, so I feel compelled to point out that my negative feelings about Christmas are not a result of my childhood or some past trauma.  My idiosyncrasies are mine and mine alone.        

Have you ever heard of a cat that doesn’t like milk or a dog that doesn’t like bones?  What about a Christian that doesn’t like Christmas?  Well, that’s me.  I’m the Christian that doesn’t like Christmas.  My issue isn’t with the birth of the Messiah.  I’m squarely on team Jesus.  My issue is with the way that Christmas (in the United States) is celebrated.  The Christians who are out there screaming “Jesus is the reason for the season!” are some of the same people who are contributing to the Christmas insanity.  Here is my list of grievances as it relates to the celebration of Christmas:

• Forced happiness – In the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas, no space exists for anyone to experience any other emotion besides manic happiness.  Some of us are going through loss or grief.  Some of us have a personality type that can only sustain happiness in short bursts.  Humans are complex beings, and everyone is going through something different.  Expecting everyone to be happy is like saying a child is only allowed to color with a single crayon.  Let the child have the whole box of crayons, and let people have the space to feel whatever they need to feel in the Christmas season. 
• Materialism – The magi unleashed a pandora’s box when they brought gifts to Jesus.  (Now is a good time to point out that the magi visited Jesus when he was about 2 years old and not on the night of his birth.  The nativity sets we all decorate with are wrong.)  The whole gift giving concept has gone to extremes.  Did you know the average American home has over 300,000 items?  That’s a lot of stuff, and we keep shoveling in more every December 25. 
• Unrealistic Expectations – We don’t live in a Norman Rockwell painting.  People get married.  People get divorced.  Children grow up.  People lose their jobs.  People move to other states.  People die.  The concept of everyone being together around a Christmas tree on December 25 may not be realistic for everyone.  Don’t let the family traditions of the past become the anchor that drowns you today. 
• Music – I wrote a blog about this years ago, which you can check out by clicking here.   Numerous people expressed to me the same sentiment after I wrote that post.  They just never felt safe to say it publicly. 

This year, I finally learned to like the month of January, a month I previously loathed.  (You can check out that blog post here.)  If I can learn to like January, maybe I can learn to find a way to make peace with Christmas.  I’m going to try to do that this year.  Here’s my plan:

• I’m dialing down the expectations. – My Christmas decorations are not perfect.  The neighbors aren’t going to be driving by to look at the lights on the front of the house because I don’t have any.  Recently I was asked if I was Jewish because I don’t have any Christmas decorations on my house.  I bought a wreath at the consignment shop and put it on the front door.  It’s fine. 
• I’m finding a way to give gifts that still fit within my value system. –  Many people like giving gifts.  I don’t (at least not at the expected times), but I am determined to find a way to fit in with the other humans with whom I share my world.  In years past, gift buying and exchanging was a major source of stress for me.  Now, I am finding ways to give gifts that fit within my value system.  As much as possible, I try to give consumable gifts such as food, wine, lotions, or soaps.  These things won’t clutter the recipient’s house forever.
• I’m tempering the Christmas music with some hard-core country music.  – Ashley McBryde is my current artist of choice, but I will still go to old school Merle Haggard and Johnny Cash.  The country music helps me regulate my emotional barometer and serves as a counterbalance to Mariah Carey singing “All I Want for Christmas Is You.”
• I’m going to be the friend that I want to have. – I can’t control everyone else’s feelings, but I can give people the space they need to feel their feelings.  If you want to be manically happy, that’s fine.  But if you are frustrated, stressed, sad, or depressed, then pull up a chair and sit by me.  I’ll listen without judging, and that’s my Christmas gift to you.  Color with all the crayons and feel all the feelings you need to feel.

Celebrations are important, and holidays are important.  If you love Christmas and celebrate it from October to January, good for you!  Don’t change.  I’m glad you found what brings you joy.  Just remember that Christmas is one day.  Don’t place so much emphasis on how you celebrate one day that you neglect the other 364 days.  Even if December 25 doesn’t turn out to be perfect, you still have hundreds of days to shine brighter than Rudolph’s nose.